Frailty
by Roguie
Summary: Life is a grand ride: there's always a mountain to climb, but watch out for loose rocks on the way down the other side. Just how far can Lorelai fall before knocking some sense into herself? Will be LL in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Wow. Sitting here tonight I realize that it's been about two years since I've set pen to paper… fingers to keyboard… mind to creativity… so if I'm a bit rusty to start out, bear with me. I'm out of my element… check my profile, I'm your basic sci fi freak fan… fictions out the arse, but I've never tackled anything quite as… challenging as the Gilmore Girls. This is a whole new world for me, but I have to say this: after two years of having no inspiration, GG was the only thing to come along and revitalize my love for the written word. Please give me time with my voices, this is only fiction number 1: I'll start picking them up better as time goes on don't get me wrong, I've been a huge fan for years, but as we all know, watching is a far different beast than writing.

Where this fiction is going to stand: Season premiere… and then completely non canon after that. I may pick up a tidbit here and there if I can keep it in my own timeline, but hey, unrealized realities. Just consider stepping into this fiction like a ride through a wormhole… at least there's the promise of black leather on the other side. :)

Reviews please, I'll take the good and the bad, but please no ugly… a girl's heart is only so strong. :)

Frequency: Um, as time allows. You'll probably see most updates on Wednesdays… I write best on my idiot boss's day off (something about ignoring what I'm really supposed to be doing… :P)

Disclaimer: So NOT mine.

Frailty

By: Danae Bowen

Part One: Voices

"Hey, kid, know we're not really talking here, but I thought you should know, Mommy's getting married."

Pause.

"Hey, Rory! Know how you used to wonder what life would be like if Luke was your father? Well, guess what?"

Pause.

"Hey, Hon, don't panic, but the sun is falling outta the sky!"

Sigh.

Lorelai Gilmore-soon-to-be-Danes stared down at the closed cell phone in her hand. She and Luke had been engaged exactly seven days. Sookie had squealed. Patty and Babette had made her the meat in a gossip sandwich. Michel babbled something derogatory about her diner-man, but secretly began coordinating his wardrobe for the ceremony.

All her friends were happy for them, but still Lorelai couldn't muster any real excitement. She knew how to act, she knew what to say; even Luke hardly seemed to recognize the sheer desperation in her need to celebrate their engagement. As far as Star's Hollow was concerned, everything was as it was supposed to be. As far as Lorelai was concerned, nothing was as she'd dreamed it to be.

Sigh.

Maybe telling her parents would be easier. "Maybe if I tell them I'm pregnant again…"

_Oh grow up, Lorelai!_

She jumped. Good god, was that her mother's voice in her head? Had it really come to this!

_Why do you think you're doing this, Lorelai? Why do you think Rory is behaving as she is? How old were you when you finally stopped listening to anyone altogether? Rory is a Gilmore, plain and simple. Somewhere in our past is the gene for obstinacy, coming from your grandmother, no doubt, and both of you have inherited it. Rory will do as she wants, and the harder you try to push her, the further away she'll run. Count your blessings that this time she ran to Hartford. Learn from your own history, Lorelai Gilmore and stop being such a child. It's far past time to grow up. For both of you._

"Ah, shut up, Jiminy!"

"You know, they say the voice in your head isn't dangerous until you start talking to it."

"They wouldn't say that if they knew whose voice it really is. They'd tell you to scream the 1812 overture as loud as you can until you finally drown her out."

"So, not the voice of a friendly little cricket?"

"Not that I can tell, but remind me to step on every cricket I see, just in case."

"Ah! Poor crickets!"

Lorelai smothered a smile, turning to face her daughter with a guarded expression. "Hey, don't blame me. The voice in my head made me do it."

"So, this is what it's come to in just eight days? Committing mass murder at the command of a voice in your head?"

"I've always said you're the only thing keeping me sane, kid."

Lorelai's vibrant eyes clouded over, her jaw locked in strict determination as she regarded her wayward offspring. Rory's sharp blue gaze missed nothing, from the circles under her mother's eyes to the defeated half slump of Lorelai's usually proud stance.

"Are you eating okay? Tater tots? Burgers? Ding dongs?" Rory lifted an eyebrow, trying to coax a half smile from her mother's mouth.

Reward. A small upturn of lips. "Eh. Luke's been feeding me. You know him, all with the chicken and carrots, not with the burgers and fries."

Rory scrunched up her nose indelicately. "Try Cornish game hen six nights a week. With brussel sprouts and asparagus! Ugh! I seriously need a Luke's fix before I go… home." Shit. Rory watched as the last sparks of light in her mother's eyes faded.

Breathe, Lorelai, it doesn't hurt so bad. Mental duct tape wrapped around her heart, holding the fractured pieces together. She didn't understand why Luke refused to keep the stuff in the house; duct tape could fix anything: frayed wires, leaking pipes, the shaky wooden railing on the back steps…

"Mom?"

Oh, right, and her breaking heart.

"Must be tough, kid. Anyway, sorry, was just heading out. Lock up when you leave." Lorelai straightened her stance, wiped all traces of pain from her gaze, and forced a frozen smile towards her daughter.

Rory shivered, forcing herself to look away from Lorelai's face, finally noticing the cell phone in her mother's hand. "Were you about to call someone?"

Lorelai looked down, dropped the phone into her purse, and shrugged. "Nothing that can't wait."

"Um… you going to the diner? We could get coffee…" Small, hopeful voice.

"I'll get mine at the inn."

"Oh. Okay. Um… say hi to… um, Michel for me."

"Sure, kid. He'll be thrilled."

Lorelai brushed past Rory then, trying not to breathe in the scent of her shampoo, trying not to notice the welling sadness in her expressive blue eyes, trying not to take her child in her arms, hold her close and beg her never to leave again.

Much to her heart's dismay and her mind's horror, she succeeded.

"Mom?"

She heard the desperation in Rory's voice, she knew that tone meant tears had begun to flow, but Lorelai Gilmore walked on, letting the door snap shut behind her.

_Turn around! For God's sake, she's crying in there! Turn around!_

"Screw you, Jiminy."

In her mind, Lorelai pressed mute.

End Part One


	2. Chapter 2

Frailty

By: Danae Bowen

Part Two: Sex, Lies and Video Tape

She hid. The hours passed slowly as she sipped coffee that wasn't Luke's, ate food that wasn't Luke's, held conversations with people that weren't Luke. Walking away from Rory that morning had been the hardest thing Lorelai had ever experienced; knowing that Rory was heading for the diner at some point made it the one place Lorelai definitely didn't want to be.

Why did she have to come home? Lorelai had searched the house thoroughly, making sure there was no trace of Rory left to reclaim, and yet still her daughter had come home.

_She wanted to talk to her mother, although with the way you've been acting, God only knows why._

"Okay, I am officially going crazy."

A snort came from the door to her small office. Michel lifted an eyebrow as Lorelai turned to face him with her patented look of toleration firmly in place. "Going crazy? Lorelai, you have been at that stop since the day we first met."

She smiled sweetly. "Ah, Michel, I'm sure that's just a wild coincidence. Was there something you needed, or did you just stop by to kick me when I'm down?"

"Hardly. I merely came as your dutiful servant to inform you that your offspring has telephoned no less than a dozen times. I believe she mentioned stopping here if you failed to return her call. Since you instructed me to not send through her calls, as if I were your personal secretary, I took yet another message whereupon she asked that you turn on your cell phone and stop interrupting my busy day with your feuds."

Lorelai sighed and climbed to her feet, stretching slowly before grabbing her purse and stepping out of the office. "Thanks, Michel. Um, I think I'll head over to Luke's. Want anything?"

"As a matter of fact yes. I would appreciate it if you'd take a shower after your mid afternoon tryst with the diner-man. I can smell him on you. It disgusts me."

"Michel! I haven't even seen Luke today!"

"It does not matter; he is in your clothes."

Lorelai was suddenly assaulted by images of Luke dressed in one of her outfits, the skirt too short on his long legs, the soft pink blouse opened low at the chest, hair peeking out, a look of horror on his face. She snorted. She giggled. She laughed until tears came to her eyes.

"It is important you understand the assault on my delicate senses by your constant need to bring that grease cook with you in every piece of your clothing."

Images of her silky lingerie wrapped tight around Luke's hard body choked her. Lorelai shook her head, trying to ward off the pictures with flailing hands. "Michel… please… no more!"

"I am merely stating…"

"No! No more stating! Luke! My clothes! Oh!" She breathed in deeply, closing her eyes tightly, trying to calm herself. "You have a dirty mind, Michel." Without thinking Lorelai wrapped her arms around the French man, hugging him briefly before giggling her way out the door. "God, I needed that."

She ignored the pure disgust on Michel's face; she didn't notice his desperate squeak and sudden scramble to the counter; she paid no attention to his flustered opening of his personal disinfectant. Lorelai, still chuckling to herself, left the Dragonfly en route to see the man of her dreams.

"CRAZY! The woman is completely insane!"

000000000000000000000

Luke Danes couldn't stop the near painful thud his heart made when she walked through the diner door. To Luke, she was a goddess: long dark hair flowing, eyes bright and shining, a gaze that could melt his mind… when she'd look at him. What the hell?

"Lorelai?"

"Hey, Luke." She glanced up, clenched her jaw tightly and immediately turned her gaze down to study her choice in footwear. Jeans. Flannel. Ball cap. Keep it together, Lor. Jeans. Flannel. Ball cap. Damn Michel! "Coffee. Please. Desperately require coffee."

"Is something wrong?"

Jeans. Flannel. Ball cap. Jeans. Flannel. Ball cap. "Wrong? No. What could be wrong? Nothing's wrong. Nope. Here you are, all baseball cap and flannelly. Nothing wrong here." Without looking up, Lorelai reached her hand out for the mug, and instantly sipped the hot brew. "All is good." Jeans.

"Mhmm. Okay, so why won't you look at me?"

She looked up quickly, smothered the wicked grin that began pulling at her lips, and then returned to studying the dark liquid in her mug. "Good coffee, Flannel Luke. Amazing as always. Almost as good as you look in that baseball cap." Flannel.

Luke blinked, frustration beginning to boil in his eyes. "Okay, what the hell is going on in your head?"

"Trust me, big guy, you don't want to know." Ball cap.

Worry spiked. "Lorelai, you're acting less than normal, even for you. Exactly how much coffee have you had today?"

"Two cups." She paused. "No… three. Maybe four. I'm sorry, am I freaking you out?"

"Yeah, honestly, a little." He shook his head, smoothing his hands down over the front of his jeans. Lorelai's eyes tracked the path of his fingers, a half grin suddenly distracting him. "Lorelai…"

"What? Can't a girl admire a pair of really hot jeans on the man she's about to marry?" Jeans, flannel, ball cap. Glorious jeans. Soft flannel. Ball cap flying across the room. Zipper sliding down... jeans falling… flannel opening. Oh man.

Luke didn't miss the shift in Lorelai's expression. His body hardened in response to the sudden fire that sparked behind her eyes. He was well aware of the catch in her breathing, the way the rise and fall of her breasts quickened, her fingers spreading out against her thigh, wanting to reach out for him. He almost groaned, knowing exactly the thoughts now dancing in his fiancée's mind. "God, Lorelai, what's gotten into you?"

A moment of clarity struck her then, realizing how tightly she was clinging to anything that distracted her from thoughts of Rory. Maybe she was going insane, manic: thinking of Luke in her clothing was funny, but not quite as hysterical as it had seemed. As always, Luke looked sexy, but a moment ago she was considering scandalizing the entire town and climbing on top of him, leaving the diner counter as their only support. Her desperate reactions were entirely too much.

When she finally spoke, her voice was quiet. All the life she'd had a mere moment before faded, and Lorelai leaned against the counter, suddenly exhausted. "Rory stopped by this morning."

Luke's expression was the definition of surprise. "What did she want?"

Lorelai shrugged. "Dunno. Never asked. I was thinking about calling her and then suddenly she was there. She probably came to talk."

"How did her court appearance go?"

"Um… I didn't ask."

"Oh." Luke tried to keep the disapproval out of his voice. "Okay, how's she settling into life in Hartford?"

Lorelai shrugged. "Something about hens and sprouts."

His expression darkened. "Okay, so you didn't talk about her trial, you didn't talk about her life, what did you talk about?"

Lorelai gave him her most innocent, sweet expressions. "Crickets?"

"The game or the bug?"

"There's a game about crickets?"

"Never mind." Luke pulled off his cap and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. With a sigh he replaced the cap and leaned down to look into Lorelai's eyes, silently begging her to be serious. "So, how was it?"

How do you think it was? It sucked shit through a straw. My kid is living with my parents, and all the good I tried to do with her is being stripped away layer by layer. She was born into a pair of ruby slippers and the wicked witch of the west finally got her. She cried, Luke. I made my kid cry and I left her crying. She's ruining her life and I can't even bring myself to try and talk sense into her. Jesus, Luke, I gave my kid away and she knows it!

"Lorelai?"

"Not horrible. I mean it was all tense at first but there were smiles."

It was just a little lie, not even a lie so much as a stretch of the truth. The visible release of tension from Luke's body told Lorelai that it was worth it.

_And what happened the last time you lied to Luke? Oh, Lorelai, have you learned absolutely nothing?_

"Good. Good." Luke nodded. "Good. You see, this will be over before you know it. We'll have Rory home soon and then we can work on getting her back into Yale." He paused. "So, how did she take the news about the wedding?"

Lorelai swallowed, forcing her lips to curl into a smile. Okay, so two little lies of omission. "Oh, you know Rory!"

Luke grinned. He almost preened. He didn't notice the guilty down shift of Lorelai's eyes, rather he lost himself in thoughts of having the girls back together again. He loved Lorelai, but their life would never be complete without Rory.

_When he realizes that you've deceived him once again, Lorelai, how do you think he's going to react? Eventually he's going to wonder why Rory hasn't come to see him, or eventually she will and he'll learn the truth. Oh, Lorelai, you spend so much time talking about Rory ruining her life, do you even understand what you're doing to your own?_

"For God's Sake, not now!" she hissed, glancing around for any eavesdroppers. Mercifully, Luke was far enough away that Lorelai's quiet mutterings went unnoticed. When he returned, it was with a fresh pot of coffee and a kiss dropped on the top of her head. He reached under the counter then and slid a box towards her; Lorelai cocked her head in curiosity and looked up at him silently.

"You're always complaining that I don't share enough of my past with you." Luke smiled softly. "I had Liz make a tape off of some old family footage; I thought we could watch it tonight if you wanted."

"You're kidding me right? Luke Don't-Ask-About-My-Past-At-The-Risk-of-Immediate-Execution Danes is bringing over home movies? I'm dead right? That's what this is. I died in my sleep last night and this is some parody of my life I have to live to atone for all my sins?" Lorelai flashed him a lopsided grin, and Luke shook his head.

"Well, if you're not interested…" His fingers wrapped around the box, stopped immediately by Lorelai's quick reflexes.

"Not a chance, Burger Boy. This little gem is staying with me until I've seen every second." She leaned up and kissed him, his soft lips brushing hers, the tingle of the scruff on his face sending shivers down her spine. "Eight?"

"You got it."

Lorelai kissed him once more, and then climbed to her feet, slipping her purse over her shoulder. "Hey, Luke, do me a favor would you?"

He lifted an eyebrow. "That depends…"

"Oh, come on!" She flashed him an evil grin, "It's not like I'm going to ask you to wear a pink silk blouse!"

His expression screamed what the hell, but knowing Lorelai as he did, Luke knew better than to ask. "What do you want?"

"Cheeseburgers, please? With fries?" Her expression was pathetically pleading, her lower lip extended in a small pout. "A girl can only take so much health food before she kills herself."

"I wouldn't call chicken cordon bleu exactly healthy. You just don't realize the amount of fat in the cheese and ham stuffing."

"There were vegetables. That makes it cause for suicide."

Luke chuckled. "Okay, cheeseburgers and fries it is."

"And cheesecake?"

"Lorelai!"

"Luuuuuke."

He sighed. "Go home. Take a shower. Get comfortable. I'll be there in a few hours."

Her walk held a distinct bounce she hadn't had when she came in, even such a small victory gave her back some of the life she'd recently been lacking. Halfway to the door, Lorelai paused and looked back at Luke, a small expression of confusion on her face.

"Do I smell?"

"What!"

"Do I smell?"

He shook his head, staring at her in utter confusion. "No! Why would you ask that?"

She shrugged. "You're the second guy today to tell me to take a shower." Her expression turned naughty. "Do you suppose it's just the thought of me wet and naked."

As Luke's jaw dropped, two customers gasped, and Lorelai walked out the door with a giggle and a light step.

End Part Two.


End file.
